I’m no stranger to the words “I apologize…” as my temperament in my younger years and Capricorn spirit have fueled some heated discussions. As I continue to morph into adhering to adult like practices I wanted to share my newest journey with the diabetes community. The recent realization that diabetes plays a major factor in my mood has allowed me to reflect and better process what lead to my apology. You need the background of my days events to better understand the beginnings to the epic blow-up with my mom.
- I didn’t get a good nights rest because my home was uncomfortably warm due to an ancient AC unit and the Hawaii vs. Oklahoma time difference.
- My anxiety was off the charts that morning because of the upcoming days events.
- I had a HUGE argument with my bank. I felt my blood pressure rise.
- I attended a birthday party for a friend’s daughter where I consumed a few carrots and a 16 oz. Modelo.
- My personal issues were festering and I was unable to release my anger. Not even meditation, controlled breathing or the usual go to methods could crack this feeling.
I arrive at my folk’s place and was admittedly tired, mentally exhausted and starving. I can’t even remember what my mother said, but this image sums up my response in addition to WAY too many curse words.
I jumped on anything she had to say and my dad at one point said something like, “Why don’t you let us know when you want to talk”. I left with my shoulders up to my earlobes and couldn’t get rid of the angry thoughts and emotions.
I met a friend for lunch and before ordering I tested my BG – 356! Even on a bad day, I don’t see 300 so this blew my mind. I immediately shot up, drank some water and ordered the healthiest thing I could find. As my BG stabilized and I had food in my belly was I then able to process everything. I made a checklist as to anything that could have effected my BG.
Now that I’ve recognized the factors – it’s time to apologize. Without hesitation I called my parents and quickly explained how my high BG unfortunately contributed to my unacceptable behavior. My apology was heart felt and I meant every word. I explained the diabetes side of the equation in hopes they could better understand the effects my high BG had on my mood. The message was well received and I hope this situation will never be repeated.