This image sums it up. There are days when I have NO control and feel compelled to tell the world to f**k off! There was nothing different about my routine. I gave 12 units of Lantus at 5:41am and headed back to bed. A series of weird dreams and the need to pee woke me from my slumber. I recognized this feeling and forced myself to get up and test.
While sitting on the toilet, the number confirmed my gut instinct – BG was 38. No time to pee, in fact, my body wouldn’t let me. I stumbled into the kitchen and downed a Gatorade. I should have taken an Aleve because this type of low often brings on a wicked headache, but the brain wasn’t functioning with this low of a low. I chase the Gatorade with a bit of water and head back to bed. There was NO way I could be productive and I had zero desire to stay awake while my body recouped.
After another series of intense dreams – a wave of anxiety startles me. I actually wrote about this a few months ago, Tuesday Topic: Low BG vs. Hallucinating, Is There Really A Difference?, where I explain my experience with low BGs while sleeping. Instead of getting up, I glance at my phone and realize I’ve been asleep for 3 hours. I call my sister, explain the rocky morning and realize while bitching that something wasn’t right. I comment, “I bet my blood sugar is 64”. She is worried and asks if I should call my mom to come up and sit with me. I totally blow her off and think, what in the hell is that going to do? I head to the restroom and test. WTF?
Nothing about this morning is different from any other so why does my BG refuse to cooperate? My day is absolutely shot! If I had a real job, this would be considered a sick day because my brain would be functioning at about 40%. I attempt to start my day and bring my coffee and laptop to bed. Sitting at the table was too much to handle. I fester and can’t believe on a day where my To-Do list is loaded with errands, it would have to wait.
After about 2 hours or so and a serious over correction, I take a moment to think. What would make me feel better? I lace up my tennis shoes, put in my earbuds and head out for a walk. Risky – yes, but I packed a snack, was close enough to home to make it back and my diabetes tattoo is present should I pass out. The walk brightened my mood and grounded me. It was exactly what I needed. Days like this are rare and could have been much worse. My diabeetus (hadn’t brought this up in awhile) may have control over my body some days, but I can control my attitude.