Yesterday, in a bit of a panic, I reached out to friends and family because I was scared, really scared. The ugly cry kept me from sharing my real fears – was it just a gallbladder episode or something worse? Within an hour, I was headed to the ER, but not before packing a bag – insulin, needles, pen needles, extra sensor, skin tac, tester, test strips, healthy snacks, low BG snacks, journal, phone charger and head phones.
I waited with my family in the ER for three hours and finally shared with the front desk clerks that I had Type 1 diabetes and hadn’t eaten in six hours because I wasn’t sure what type of tests they would want to run. 30 minutes later I was escorted to my room. I answered all of their questions, peed in cup, had 7+ vials of blood drawn, underwent an ultrasound and anxiously waited for the results. I could see the fear in my sister’s eyes as she is an ICU nurse and understood everything going on.
Throughout the day, my subconscious kept chiming in. You know, the doom and gloom every person with T1D has sitting on a shelf in the very back of their mind. Was it my time to finally get the news? Were my kidneys failing? Was my liver shutting down, etc. I was flooded with emotions; but kept a smile on my face, cracked jokes and tried to keep my family entertained.
The test results came in sporadically and the medical staff were thrilled with my blood work and urine analysis. Even though I was relieved, I was also angry. I have NO idea how I am going to pay for this and for the most part, I did not have any answers. I was sent home with a prescription for acid reflux medication and have to follow-up with my GP for further testing. All I could focus on was $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and did they really get to the root of the problem.
In the past five years, I’ve been crippled with a liver cancer scare and diagnosed with a polyp on my gallbladder. Both discoveries were terrifying, and I couldn’t keep myself from thinking diabetes might be the culprit. Even though no one in the medical community has made this connection, I can’t help but think it might be a big part of the equation.
I guess time will tell and I will do my best to focus on the positive…